Childhood Fears Rear Their Ugly Head
May. 25th, 2004 10:30 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
maiagirlSo, I had my first "date" with my friend M tonight. It's really something we should have done awhile ago but I'm already seeing someone and although we have an open relationship, and he's seeing someone, I just couldn't get past the idea that it really is OK to date more then one person at a time. I am not a permiscuous person by nature. You can count the number of men I've slept with one one had and still have a couple of fingers left over.
Sexual reputation has always been an issue in my family, as in if you have a reputation no one will ever truely love you or respect you and bad, bad things will happen to you, etc. I've worked really hard to get past that, and realizing that I've missed out on some good things in the past because I carred more about what people will say. People will always say whatever they want. I just can't bring myself to care about the thoughts of people who are going to be catty and unsuportive anymore. I'm tired of trying to explain things by justifying to other my own happiness. My happiness should be its own justification, no further explanation necessary. And I am happy now, and confident (for once) in my relationships. So there.
Sexual reputation has always been an issue in my family, as in if you have a reputation no one will ever truely love you or respect you and bad, bad things will happen to you, etc. I've worked really hard to get past that, and realizing that I've missed out on some good things in the past because I carred more about what people will say. People will always say whatever they want. I just can't bring myself to care about the thoughts of people who are going to be catty and unsuportive anymore. I'm tired of trying to explain things by justifying to other my own happiness. My happiness should be its own justification, no further explanation necessary. And I am happy now, and confident (for once) in my relationships. So there.
